Post 1 for today: Weight

This will be a short post.

I gained a lb, I think. Almost 2. I’m at 254.4 today. I expected that, honestly. Stress, not eating right, and not properly exercising, bound to mess up my weight loss completely.

I should be back on track next week, though! See my next post for the reason why!

And the reason we don’t cheat so many days is as follows…

WOO. I GAINED WEIGHT.

Wait, that’s not what I wanted. Shit.

It’s really depressing when you just hover around a goal. Mine is to be under 250. It has been one of my main goals since I started this in November. I am now 252.6 lbs, up 1.2 lbs from last week. The day the sugar cravings kicked in has proven to be the worst idea ever. That has been my main craving, though.

It’s really good to know what is triggering my cravings. I know what it is, and I will post about it in another post. However, I can’t stop the trigger right now. It just doesn’t work like that. I can, however, distract myself, and that’s what I have been trying to do this week. All I want is chocolate. I don’t know why the craving is specifically for chocolate. Maybe my body is missing something that chocolate has (read: sugar). I will just have to not cheat for a while.

Exercising directly hasn’t been going as planned, but I am moving around. Except yesterday when I had really odd pains in my back that prevented me from moving. Today, those pains are gone, replaced by uterus cramping. I can get around those, though. :) My plan to keep myself moving is going quite awesome.

Now I need to stop “letting” myself slip up. Need to fight it harder since I see how big of an impact it is making on my weight. Instead, I will only give myself chocolate when I really need it, and no other time.

Chris was commenting on the status of my forearms the other day. He told me that I have the forearms of a 13 year old boy. :3 I really hope you all get that.

Here’s to another week of high stress coming up. I will try to post throughout it. If not about weight loss, about me pulling my hair out because I am freaking out. Next post will be about what is going on with the blog and with my life.

Yesterday’s weigh in

I forgot to post yesterday. To say there is some high stress in my life right now is probably understating it. And it’s probably what contributed to my weight gain this week. I gained 0.8 lbs. However, I feel skinnier. So I don’t feel TOO bad about it. And I still do understand that weight does fluctuate.

Out of the 3 of us living here, until today, my husband was the only one with a job. We can’t continue to live where we do, so we had to make a lot of tough choices yesterday (when our internet ended up being shut off and the company ended up taking all of our extra money). I have had a tight chest and a pit in my stomach for the past few days, on top of another pair of ear infections. I’ve been mostly sticking to my diet, though (yesterday was really hard to, but I didn’t go over too much). Exercise, however, has been kind of flat. I can’t even remember right now if yesterday was my day off or not… All I can think about is money and where we’re going from here. I do know I am exercising today, though, but I can’t figure out if I exercise tomorrow or not. I think I do…

Stress is a funny thing. I guess I will just take it day by day right now, but I really need to be able to hit something. I’d do stairs, but it is quite cold outside, and I know how that just steals my breathe. Maybe it wouldn’t if I were more bundled up? I don’t know. I’ve never actually tried to exercise in the cold because it’s always been a TERRIFIC excuse. I am not an open person, emotionally. I want to share more things, but,  in my head, I have to be the strong one. The one everyone can rely on. :\

I hope this gain isn’t a sign of what’s to come. I was really liking losing. Hopefully next week will be better like it was last week. I obviously didn’t hit my goal that I wanted to, and I need to fight for that goal. I cannot let this hiccup in life get in the way of my health.