I HATE EVERYTHING AND FUCK YOU IN YOUR FACE

Today has been hard on me.

It’s the first day I haven’t been able to talk to my husband for the majority of the day. Got a little bit of him for an hour. He was productive today. But still no money from the ex-landlord so that he can buy a god damn wireless network card so I can talk to him while he’s at home. Fuck that shit. Seriously.

So, it’s hit me kind of hard that I just can’t up and talk to my husband when I want to tonight. Pretty hard. And then fucking people and their going out and doing shit and being happy with their marriages and together and having money and Valentine’s Day and FUCK YOU ALL FOR NOT BEING MORE SYMPATHETIC TOWARDS ME.

This is what it’s like in my head.

It’s all dumb. It will all pass. And seriously, if any of this gets fucking easier and I stop missing him so much, something is god damn wrong.


It really didn’t fucking help that someone else mentioned adoptable kitties and I was sent into a fucking spiral of OH GOD I MISS MY KITTIES AND FUCKING HELL THRALL AND CAIRNE DID THE CUTEST FUCKING SHIT.

It’s not any easier, hours later, writing this. It’s just as painful. And it probably won’t be any easier with me feeling fucking horrible about having to give them up. I think of them taking them away in their kennel and my chest tightens and my face warms. My poor babies. Cairne (to the right) was adopted almost immediately (AND HOW THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE? HE’S SLEEPING ON HIS GOD DAMN FACE). The website told us that. I haven’t seen anything about Thrall (right and down). A knot sits in my stomach when I think that he doesn’t have a home yet. And that’s horrible, because he was fucking lovey with me (and apparently boxes that he cannot fit into…HE’S CHEAP FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT PLEASE ADOPT MY BABY). He was my baby, and I don’t fucking have him anymore. That is fucking terrible. Almost as bad as one of them dying.

Chris luckily has Frankie (below). She’s really too old to be in a shelter now. At 7 years old, she would have been hard to adopt, despite her fucking adorable face and fluffy fur (“Look at this belly…why wouldn’t you want to rub it? I stretch further if you scratch my armpits just right…”). I am pretty sure she only loves Chris and I, though. Chris says with me not around, she is super talkative, and sleeps with him every chance she gets (which is every night). I miss all of them dearly.

 

 

 

 

Seriously, today, go fuck yourself. I know you’re almost over, but go fuck yourself and your emotions and shit.

AND TAKE THIS GOD DAMN CYST ON MY OVARY WITH YOU. BECAUSE I TOTALLY NEED MORE PHYSICAL PAIN.

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