Apparently, this needs to be touched again…

A couple days ago, the Oscars happened. Everyone who is someone was there. Had to be. And you had to look amazing.

Of course, the body shaming came in again.

I spoke on this earlier. A new problem has risen. There is body shaming, and there is blatantly ignoring that someone might have an eating disorder. When you are worried about how someone looks, and you say they look unhealthy, that isn’t body shaming. Body shaming is when you point out to someone skinny and tell them to eat a hamburger (as SEVERAL people did about Angelina Jolie on Sunday). Body shaming is when you point out a fat person and tell them to stop eating so many donuts.

It is NOT, I repeat, NOOOOOOTTTTTT body shaming when you are concerned for the person’s health. If you look at someone you’ve known for years and realize that they are quite skinnier than they used to be, that will bring up concern. Instead of saying, “Wow, you’ve lost weight, maybe you should eat more,” you should constructively say, “You’ve lost a little weight, is everything okay?” Asking that right there will help you determine if it’s stress or if they’re sick right off the bat. You don’t ask if you know they are trying to lose weight. If they are trying to lose weight and you don’t agree, shut your face. That’s not your place to tell them that they shouldn’t. You aren’t asking them because you think they look bad, you’re asking because you think there may be a problem.

You can do the same thing with people who gain weight, too. When I flew out to Portland last March by myself, I was nervous. I was in an airport bar at DIA drinking by myself. I am diagnosed (by a doctor) with severe social anxiety, and I really, really hate doing things by myself. A woman came up and asked if she could sit next to me. There were a lot of men in the bar, and I kind of wanted company anyway, so I said yes. She ended up giving me one of her Xanax to calm me down, lol. I don’t remember how it ended up coming to it, but we talked of my weight. She asked me a lot of questions about why I thought I was large. She did it in such a way that I did not get even remotely offended that a complete stranger was able to confront me on this. I am not normally one to open so much, especially if I’m by myself. She asked about if I was trying to protect myself with the fat. She made me think a lot about WHY I was fat, not just that I was. I was at my heaviest then. 283. I am now 240. She helped me a lot, just by one little conversation, one stranger to another, without telling me to stop stuffing my face like the fat whore I am.

I was linked this article today. Models that weight EIGHT STONE are told they are too fat. That is 112 lbs. A girl went from 8st to 6st in a short period of time. She weighed 84 lbs. An adult weighed that. She was 5’6″ (which is what I am). People around her knew she had a problem. SHE knew she had problem, but she didn’t know what it was. This is the modeling world. This is why women have problems. If you see someone you know get unhealthily skinny, you should intervene before they kill themselves like this and other models have done. Someone needed to step in and help her, but no one did because she was a model. If she gained the weight back, she would lose her job.

There is no wrong way to have a body. I’ve said this before. You can be skinny and be healthy, you can be fat and be healthy. But when someone close to you is showing warning signs of eating disorders, please help them. Do not think yourself body shaming them, think of yourself keeping them alive. Because that is what you are doing. Make sure they are doing okay. Remember that you wouldn’t ignore someone if they showed signs of schizophrenia or severe depression. Eating disorders are just as dangerous, and they need to be taken care of.

Just do it with some tact. Don’t go in, guns blazing, ready to tell that person to eat a high fat diet for years. Ask them what is wrong, if anything, and keep a close eye on them.

Now, stop body shaming everyone and show your concern in a better way.

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