Drama drama drama…

…and info on my weigh in on Friday. I only lost 0.2 lbs last week, but I noticed my scale said a 1% drop in body fat, so I am okay with it all (Chris lost 1.6 lbs, and expects to be below 310 again this week). Also, my wedding band is continually having issues with staying on, lol. Walking in the morning seems to be helping me out with my weight loss stuff, even without me exercising at the gym regularly.


I have felt something off about our current roommate since I met her. I ignore those kinds of things most of the time, especially at first. I have social anxiety, that must be the problem. These people are normal, not out to get me. Well, these feelings never went away. There are people at work that I have known for less time and am WAY more comfortable around. This should have been a sign.

We are being kicked out of our place. We have until August 27th, but we plan on being out 2 weeks before that, maybe one. I came home Thursday night to a note posted on the wall giving us notice; two days before, everything was just fine. The straw that broke the camel’s back? We washed the dishes wrong. I wish I were fucking joking. I have a specific way I wash the dishes and I get super annoyed when they aren’t done that way. Do I freak out and start attacking people because of it? No. I let it roll off my back and understand that not everyone does dishes the exact way I do. It isn’t that fucking hard, at all. Everyone isn’t going to cater to me, I get over it. I don’t do well with passive-aggressive notes. They are REALLY condescending and patronizing. I hate it. Thursday and Friday, the living area were COVERED with them. This just made everything worse.

I was understandably upset at first on Thursday. I had to take a sleeping pill to calm down and sleep, and even then, I slept like ass. Chris came home and immediately went to bed only to be woken up by our roommate an hour later to bitch about me. She explained how she hated the hostile living environment (yet made it worse by kicking us out without talking to us). She said it doesn’t feel like her home anymore (though we never actively told her to go away ever). She explained that she hated picking up after us (except she rarely did). She went off on a few scenarios that never happened, exploded at Chris, then would apologize and start bawling. She is unhinged. We are so incredibly happy to be leaving now, and completely understand why her other roommates left.

It’s super uncomfortable now. I haven’t not had a panic attack since Thursday night. I’ve puked from adrenaline after seeing more notes around. After leaving a note of my own, she threatened to kick us out earlier (thanks to the internet for reminding me to keep the written notification safe because that is legally binding). Apparently, she can leave all the notes she wants, but when someone retaliates, they’re “not respecting” her. Chris talked her down. Seriously. Fucking. Insane. He also told her to stop leaving notes around everywhere because without her being there, it just makes it worse. So, we’re not allowed to talk to each other at all now. It is for the best. I will keep to the room. We’re even going to move all of our stuff to our room to give her ALL the house back.

We found a place to live immediately. A friend of ours opened her home to us, and we plan on moving asap. We’re making sure everything is packed ahead of time like normal. I would like to be able to be calm. I don’t know how to calm down without alcohol or pot. Breathing, distractions, consciously trying to calm myself down doesn’t help at all. I hate it. I have had anxiety in one form or another since the shootings in Aurora on the 20th. It’s frustrating. I am hoping this move will make me calm.

We had a few bumps, but we thought that everything was fine. We hate moving, and was hoping this would be the last place we lived in until I went into the military. It’s fucking ridiculous is what it is.

*sigh*I feel better after writing this. Lorien was right that it would help to vent. I didn’t even vent everything I wanted to, and I feel so much better. And after exercising tonight, I expect to feel even better.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cdquarry
    Jul 30, 2012 @ 12:34:01

    This will be so much better once we can leave the drama behind us. I tell you what though: If something else goes wrong I am just going to hit the reset button and ride of into the sunset. Sell everything. Buy a boat. Live in the Caribbean. Fish for my food. You are more than welcome to come with me.


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