So, it’s been a couple months, and I am sorry. However, I have moved over to If you would like to continue to get updates (as you should want to, you jerks), please head over there and follow that blog. :3


I rarely reblog. This is my space.
This idea that my husband has is so incredibly awesome that I think everyone should be thinking of other creative ways to lose weight. :3

The Way of the Geek

First off, let’s get a little inspirational music going. Something to get the blood pumping.

“No Easy Way Out (cover) – Bullet for My Valentine”

Alright. Now that we are sufficiently pumped up, I want to talk a bit about a new project. For lack of a better name, let’s call it “World of Fitcraft”. I think a little back story is in order here.

When I was younger I did horrible in school because I had no willpower to do homework or anything extra. But I got a video game (F117 Stealth Fighter from Microprose Software) that had a 150 page manual (still bigger than any other game I’ve played) that I not only memorized, I devoured. Because it was a game, I was dedicated to my perfection. I developed advanced dog fighting techniques, planned meticulous flight plans, and was a silent and efficient killer of virtual insurgents. Well, that memory…

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Another reblog? Shut up. You like it (or you don’t, in that case, shut up).

If you can help a homie out here, her brain is fighting.

kaenix . com

I’ve been listening to Ellie Goulding’s Lights (the album) a ton recently, and as is usual whenever I really get into music, I tend to think of my characters when I’m listening to it. One of the songs in particular, This Love (Will Be Your Downfall), always makes me think of a specific duo. Here is a snippet of the lyrics:

Who are we to be emotional?
Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?
Oh, who are we to turn each other’s heads?
Who are we to find ourselves in other people’s beds?

Oh, I don’t like the way I never listen to myself
I feel like I’m on fire
I’m too shy to cry for help
Oh, I don’t think you know me much at all

In particular, what I think about is romances in stories that are “meant to be”. The destined couple…

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I don’t do this very often, but I know I have a few followers here.

This is my best friend’s artwork WordPress. I love it so much, I decided to share it. :) Read through. It’s freaking gorgeous.

Shenanigans! Studio

Holy crap, hi guys.

I completed a chibi today.

For @theroseinbloom!

The colors were mostly ad hoc, so any that you want changed, please let me know. :)

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The day the sweetness took over (and a recap of my weekend)

Actually, it was yesterday that this happened. Sudden and large, I had a craving for something sweet. Particularly, chocolate. I don’t really get cravings anymore. When I do, though, I tend to give in to them. I needed brownies. I didn’t end up getting them. What I did instead was get shit to make this.

Don’t judge me. I can hear you thinking.

It was delicious. And it hit the fucking spot. So much so that I needed more. I only ate one at first. We ended up splitting a second one because it didn’t fit in the god damn tupperware we have (the biggest one being filled with honeydew). The marshmallows and chocolate melted together inside. It was fucking heaven. Seriously. Fucking. Heaven. I haven’t had such joy eating something like I did last night in a LONG time.

I had one for breakfast.

Then made Chris take them to work. I would have eaten every last one in the house if I had a chance.

So, that totally happened. And I completely accept it because I am still seeing results. I’m not gaining everything back because I decide to treat myself. And that makes me happy.

We had Chinese food over the weekend. It was delicious. Crab puffs and pot stickers and orange chicken and lemongrass pork. Between Chris and I, it was so good. Side note: I am getting SUPER good at using chopsticks; used them for the entire meal and didn’t have to touch the silverware! We went hiking for almost two hours. While we were out and about, we decided that we wanted to do some hardcore camping sometime! Hike into a place with only what we can carry. It’s a goal for us. We can now hike around without stopping too much for rest. Once we stopped because my heart rate was too high (picture to the left). The second time we stopped, we had reached where we wanted to go (below to the right). We got all the way to the sequoia trees and the deck that is built out into them. It was so relaxing to just sit there. Then we headed back, stopped once more (other than a few pictures) at the picnic area. Didn’t stop again until we got to the MAX Station. It was super fun.

But also the reason why I didn’t exercise yesterday. Made it 4 days in a row with exercising! Yesterday I had to rest. Which was very good for me. I did belly dancing today, and it was just harsh. I made it through that without stopping, though! So proud of myself.

Everything is getting easier. Yes, exercise is fucking hard when you start. You are out of shape, and your body wants to fight you. When you see results and realize that there is just so much more you can do after a month or so of exercising, that’s where it’s worth it. I love being still overweight, but in enough shape to hike without stopping. I love the fact that I am losing weight and inches fairly consistently. And I especially love the fact that I am feeling better about myself. If that isn’t what this is all about, then I don’t know why I even started this. :)

Oh, and one other thing…

Apparently, I started this blog a year and one week ago. Holy shit. That means I’ve been trying to seriously lose weight for a year, and for more than half a year wasn’t nearly as serious as I am now.


(real post for the day is here…sorry to distract you)

The weigh in that wasn’t expected (and the day I punched Chris in the face)…

I didn’t expect to lose much this week. I weighed myself on Wednesday because I had to get the weight for a package that I am sending to a friend. At that point, I was 255. I thought, “Great, not much of a loss this week.” Turned out I was wrong. I am down to 251.6. I really was not expecting that.

I am 0.6 lbs away from 20 lbs lost, and 1.6 lbs away from one of my monumental goals (that I honestly wanted to hit around New Year’s). I also measured myself and was just a little shocked at one number. They follow as:

  • Neck: 16.5 (no loss)
  • Bust: 47.5 (-1.5)
  • Ribs: 39.5 (-1.75)
  • Waist: 49.5 (+0.5)
  • Hips: 51.0 (+0.5)

The ribs are what I am really surprised about. It didn’t click in my head that I was so close to hitting under 40 inches for it. That is a fucking achievement. Level up in sexiness? Fucking hell. I’m losing weight in my back now. From what I have seen, a lot of people don’t lose it very quickly during weight loss. And my belly and hips are easily explained. My belly has been doing that floppy, jelly thing when I start losing fat in areas. It’s really fun to play with, but so disgusting to watch. LOL.

My legs and arms are getting skinnier again. My legs look like my mom‘s now. So do my toes (shit, forgot to take a picture of me for weigh day, dammit, Chris). When I flex my calves, I have almost a completely feminine shape. My knees are getting way skinny. And my thighs are definitely getting thinner, but still have a way to go. :) I love flexing my biceps in the mirror. It’s really, really odd to actually appreciate how I am starting to look after so many years hating the way I look. I have faith that I will not think I am still fat when I am at my final goal. :)


I chopped my hair off, bleached it a bit, and feel super cute (as seen  to the left). Might go lighter on the hair, but might not, either. I will never be able to get this color again. I am pretty sure this is the color my mom has been trying to get for years. :D And today, I punched my husband in the face. Totally an accident. It was at the end of a new workout where I was feigning a punch at his face and got his cheek bone. We laughed so incredibly hard. I kind of freaked for a second. And now he’s on his way to work, where he will tell everyone there that his wife punched him in the face. Oh, and I split open another knuckle. Yes!

Now, it’s time for a shower. Because I have a pixie hair cut, sweat does not get trapped in my hair. It just drips everywhere. This is disgusting. Lmao.

Random slacking musings

I’ve been slacking. I know I’ve been slacking. It’s super hard to actually want to get up and exercise when you are so stressed about other things. The problem is that I haven’t been able to tell myself to stop slacking.

I’ve been doing this for over 2 months. Why is it suddenly hard? It shouldn’t be. I’m still eating healthy, but not as much. I’ve lost a bit of my appetite and/or I’ve just been too full! Yesterday, I didn’t eat for 8 hours while I was awake! I was starving at the end of it and ended up eating some Chinese food and going over my carbs, but holy shit, I rarely thought of food until the end.

It’s really frustrating. So, I’ve taken to forcing myself to exercise every day now. So far, it’s worked. Did a couple hours of cleaning on Tuesday (when I decided this), 15 minutes of stairs yesterday, today I will be doing an hour of belly dancing. Tomorrow I will do kick boxing. I feel like I haven’t done it in forever. We just keep sleeping. Need to stop using that excuse. It isn’t one. We sleep just fine most of the time.

I think I will keep it up. Instead of doing so much in one day, I will spread them out doing the order of stairs, belly dancing, kick boxing. Every day of the week for a while. I need to get back into this. I need to stop using excuses that I don’t even realize I’m doing. It’s crazy how much I don’t realize I’m sabotaging myself. I just can’t do it anymore.

Tomorrow is weigh in. I am not hopeful. I don’t think I’ve gained any, though. It’s also a measurement day. We’ll see how much I’ve lost. I know my calves have lost more, so I am sure that my waist and butt have. Not sure about the boobs, though, lol. :) More tomorrow.

Yesterday’s weigh in

I forgot to post yesterday. To say there is some high stress in my life right now is probably understating it. And it’s probably what contributed to my weight gain this week. I gained 0.8 lbs. However, I feel skinnier. So I don’t feel TOO bad about it. And I still do understand that weight does fluctuate.

Out of the 3 of us living here, until today, my husband was the only one with a job. We can’t continue to live where we do, so we had to make a lot of tough choices yesterday (when our internet ended up being shut off and the company ended up taking all of our extra money). I have had a tight chest and a pit in my stomach for the past few days, on top of another pair of ear infections. I’ve been mostly sticking to my diet, though (yesterday was really hard to, but I didn’t go over too much). Exercise, however, has been kind of flat. I can’t even remember right now if yesterday was my day off or not… All I can think about is money and where we’re going from here. I do know I am exercising today, though, but I can’t figure out if I exercise tomorrow or not. I think I do…

Stress is a funny thing. I guess I will just take it day by day right now, but I really need to be able to hit something. I’d do stairs, but it is quite cold outside, and I know how that just steals my breathe. Maybe it wouldn’t if I were more bundled up? I don’t know. I’ve never actually tried to exercise in the cold because it’s always been a TERRIFIC excuse. I am not an open person, emotionally. I want to share more things, but,  in my head, I have to be the strong one. The one everyone can rely on. :\

I hope this gain isn’t a sign of what’s to come. I was really liking losing. Hopefully next week will be better like it was last week. I obviously didn’t hit my goal that I wanted to, and I need to fight for that goal. I cannot let this hiccup in life get in the way of my health.

Out of my depression!

I made it through my depression. A month of not wanting to do shit. I don’t even remember most of the past month. I remember being super stressed, crying a few times (because of some money issues), but I do not remember exercising during the past month almost at all. Last I remember exercising was when Lorien was out here.

Now I’m back, with a vengeance. However, weather decided to trump me and cut my stairs today by 66%. Jerk cold. The cold just seems to take the breath out of your lungs, and you tend to get that burning feeling faster. However, I made it through both of the belly dancing body toning videos that I have been struggling with without many stops! Makes me super excited. I still have cleaning to do today, and plan on doing a lot of it, so that will help with burning some weight off.

I have a goal for this week, and that’s to hit 20 pounds lost. I am not sure I will hit it, but I am going to try! I am only 3.4 pounds away from doing so, and I lost 3.2 last week! So I will be working my butt off tomorrow, too, to try to burn everything I can by Friday morning. :)

I am super shocked that I made it through a down cycle and exercised and only ever gained .6 lbs. Seriously. That is amazing. I don’t remember how I made it through downs while I was quitting smoking. I suppose I just pushed myself through like I had this past month. I do know that I slacked a bit, then twisted my ankle, and made up a couple of excuses, but I got through it. So super proud of myself today.

Now, today’s goals are cleaning, reading, some more light blogging, and a shower. :)

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