Bronchitis fucking sucks.

The great thing about having bronchitis is I can not exercise and don’t have to worry about feeling guilty.

The worst thing about bronchitis is that I feel stupidly guilty for not exercising!

I’m stressed. I cannot pinpoint what about. It’s really frustrating because I can generally tell why I am stressed or what about. I can’t right now. I haven’t been able to for a couple of days. All I want to do is either cry super hard or eat my feelings. Nothing seems to be satisfying my eating, either, so I ignore that one for now.

And before it’s asked, no, not pregnant.

Good thing is that I was able to run to the train stop today for a little bit and walk up stairs and not feel like I was going to have an asthma attack. So, I get to go back to the gym tomorrow.

Today, for no apparent reason, my back decided to super hurt in that one bad spot that I think is a herniated disc. It hurts so bad I feel like I’m going to puke. Here after I post this, I will be laying down flat on my back for a while on heat and ice, and will watch a show or two to catch up with the husband. I am partially excited that this keeps happening because I just signed up for benefits at work and will be able to see a doctor soon. Really worried that it’s happening for seemingly no reason at all and this fucking strong.

Sometimes, I am really surprised that I am functioning.

Well, we’re going on vacation as of Saturday. I am so excited I cannot contain it. I have this whole week of training, so no phones, then all next week in California. It’s going to be in the 80’s there, and Chris’ dad has a freaking hot tub. BATHING SUITS ARE GOING WITH US. We have a car taken care of, everything we want to do is still supposed to be happening. I am just so excited to go somewhere and not worry about anything for a whole week. It will be a nice change. :3

I lost weight last week AND inches. I definitely plan on running this week. My wedding band is amazingly loose. I am worried that I will have to not wear it anymore for fear of losing it! That kind of makes me happy. ;)

Anyway…that’s it. Yeah…….

Advertisements

Is this the hard part?

I’ve been feeling…well, less up to everything than normal. I am very adamant about watching what I eat still, but I cannot get myself to exercise. I have not been feeling good after I exercise at all like I used to.

For some reason that I cannot explain, I am in a lot of pain. The only thing I can think of what has changed was that I got a new water bottle from my roommate that I cannot drink out of well… Maybe I have been having less water? I have no idea, because it feels to me like I am still drinking enough water. After working out, my muscles hurt a lot more than they used to. I get enough sleep and I feel like I worked out entirely too much the night before, even if I didn’t. It’s been happening for the past 4 days now.

Just to be safe, I took a pregnancy test today (for those that don’t remember, I have an IUD – checking for pregnancy is vital). It came out negative, which is what I was expecting, but now I don’t know what else could be wrong. There are spots on my back that feel wrong and the only thing I can find out about the pain is possible herniated discs. I have 3 spots that give me trouble, and they have been way worse than normal. I haven’t had a day where I DIDN’T have a headache for 3 days now. My leg muscles feel weak or torn or overworked at different points in the day. It all seems so random that I don’t think I can figure out what is happening. Maybe some of my other weight loss friends can help me? I am pretty sure that the headache might be related to a toothache, but my teeth really don’t hurt all that often or coincide much with the location of the pain.

I did lose weight this week! At first, I didn’t. I gained weight. Just over 2 pounds. I was depressed about that Saturday. My waist and ribs went down on measurements, but that was it. At least I didn’t gain there again. On Saturday, before I ate, I decided it might be a good idea to weigh myself again. I had ended up losing 3.6 lbs. I am not sure what it was, but that made me feel good. Yesterday in itself was a really shitty day, but at least I lost weight, and more than I thought I had gained this past week. Well, whatever, moving on.

I really want to be under 220 when I go to California. I don’t know how feasible that will be. I have been stuck between 230 and 225 for months now, even after adjusting caloric intake and exercise. It just makes me feel very much like I’ve hit a brick wall. I am not giving up, not after everything I have done. I just don’t know what else I can do to try to shock my system or even make my body stop hurting. If any of you have suggestions, those of you that have been where I am, please let me know what you did! I might have either tried it, but if I haven’t, I just might…

I have a problem…

An actual problem, too. It’s not severe yet, but it’s to the point where I get nauseous from the pain.

I’m sure I blogged about it a couple months ago when the pain started feeling localized. I suspect I have a herniated disc in my spine. Besides the very localized pain on my spine and the nauseating pain, I can actually FEEL a lump on my back. Chris can feel a lump on my back. The muscles all around this lump are super tight. Too much pressure on this lump shoots pain. If I sit up by myself (not leaning or supported), it shoots pain. I can walk, though I shouldn’t, and I can exercise, as I did yesterday. I just. Can’t. Sit.

Ibuprofen doesn’t help it. The only thing that keeps me from feeling like I’m going to puke from pain is a heat pad on my back and my body being supported. Normally, this lasts a whole day, but only one. Today is day three. I will have insurance soon so I can get it looked at, but that won’t be for 4  months still. :(

This post is mostly just me complaining about this god damn pain. Exercise is going well, as I pointed out. With this pain, we’re changing things up to where I am actually trying to build up my back and core muscles. Higher weight, lower reps. From what I’ve read, only building the muscles really helps with herniated discs in the early stages.

Blah.