Apparently, this needs to be touched again…

A couple days ago, the Oscars happened. Everyone who is someone was there. Had to be. And you had to look amazing.

Of course, the body shaming came in again.

I spoke on this earlier. A new problem has risen. There is body shaming, and there is blatantly ignoring that someone might have an eating disorder. When you are worried about how someone looks, and you say they look unhealthy, that isn’t body shaming. Body shaming is when you point out to someone skinny and tell them to eat a hamburger (as SEVERAL people did about Angelina Jolie on Sunday). Body shaming is when you point out a fat person and tell them to stop eating so many donuts.

It is NOT, I repeat, NOOOOOOTTTTTT body shaming when you are concerned for the person’s health. If you look at someone you’ve known for years and realize that they are quite skinnier than they used to be, that will bring up concern. Instead of saying, “Wow, you’ve lost weight, maybe you should eat more,” you should constructively say, “You’ve lost a little weight, is everything okay?” Asking that right there will help you determine if it’s stress or if they’re sick right off the bat. You don’t ask if you know they are trying to lose weight. If they are trying to lose weight and you don’t agree, shut your face. That’s not your place to tell them that they shouldn’t. You aren’t asking them because you think they look bad, you’re asking because you think there may be a problem.

You can do the same thing with people who gain weight, too. When I flew out to Portland last March by myself, I was nervous. I was in an airport bar at DIA drinking by myself. I am diagnosed (by a doctor) with severe social anxiety, and I really, really hate doing things by myself. A woman came up and asked if she could sit next to me. There were a lot of men in the bar, and I kind of wanted company anyway, so I said yes. She ended up giving me one of her Xanax to calm me down, lol. I don’t remember how it ended up coming to it, but we talked of my weight. She asked me a lot of questions about why I thought I was large. She did it in such a way that I did not get even remotely offended that a complete stranger was able to confront me on this. I am not normally one to open so much, especially if I’m by myself. She asked about if I was trying to protect myself with the fat. She made me think a lot about WHY I was fat, not just that I was. I was at my heaviest then. 283. I am now 240. She helped me a lot, just by one little conversation, one stranger to another, without telling me to stop stuffing my face like the fat whore I am.

I was linked this article today. Models that weight EIGHT STONE are told they are too fat. That is 112 lbs. A girl went from 8st to 6st in a short period of time. She weighed 84 lbs. An adult weighed that. She was 5’6″ (which is what I am). People around her knew she had a problem. SHE knew she had problem, but she didn’t know what it was. This is the modeling world. This is why women have problems. If you see someone you know get unhealthily skinny, you should intervene before they kill themselves like this and other models have done. Someone needed to step in and help her, but no one did because she was a model. If she gained the weight back, she would lose her job.

There is no wrong way to have a body. I’ve said this before. You can be skinny and be healthy, you can be fat and be healthy. But when someone close to you is showing warning signs of eating disorders, please help them. Do not think yourself body shaming them, think of yourself keeping them alive. Because that is what you are doing. Make sure they are doing okay. Remember that you wouldn’t ignore someone if they showed signs of schizophrenia or severe depression. Eating disorders are just as dangerous, and they need to be taken care of.

Just do it with some tact. Don’t go in, guns blazing, ready to tell that person to eat a high fat diet for years. Ask them what is wrong, if anything, and keep a close eye on them.

Now, stop body shaming everyone and show your concern in a better way.

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The Different Degrees of Body Shaming

I understand the posts about body shaming. I know it’s wrong. There really is no wrong way to have a body. However, there is a difference between being unhealthy and being overweight/underweight.

You can be overweight and still be healthy. Because of the stupid BMI calculator (the single most piece of shit in medical books ever), most people are overweight. People can look completely normal and still be in the “overweight” category. People can be in the “underweight” category and still be completely healthy. You can also be at an unhealthy range of “overweight” and “underweight”. Those become a problem when you can’t do day-to-day activities without the help of a scooter or when you think you can always lose more weight at 5’10 and 98 lbs. That is unhealthy, and that is no way to live. These people need help.

What is wrong is making someone feel like utter shite because they are ashamed of how they look and feel. Yes, people should feel happy about their bodies. The funny thing, even the people who are saying that they are proud of their bodies are pretty miserable with theirs, too (I’ve seen several admit this). Everyone has self-esteem issues. Everyone. I cannot stress that enough. The easiest (and most hilarious) way I can show this is with a clip from the movie White Chicks. I am pretty sure that every girl out there (and a lot of guys) has thought this at least once in their life. It happens. People get depressed, they gain weight, lose weight. Every body is different on what is healthy and what isn’t. A generic range isn’t going to work for everyone.

I have severe health problems caused by me being overweight. And I use that term to be nice to myself. I am obese. My blood pressure is really the only thing that’s been normal on me since I got over 200 lbs. I was pre-diabetic as of a year ago (I haven’t been to the doctor in so long because of moving and not having insurance), one test away from being declared diabetic. I have poly cystic ovaries; I am very near being infertile. I am bipolar II. Being obese made all of these worse. All of them. I get depressed easier, I ovulate less, and storing fat doesn’t help my body process insulin correctly (I am insulin resistant because of the PCOS).

Over the past few months I have been exercising more, eating better, fitting into my clothes better. I’ve been buying smaller clothes than the size that I am because I am losing the weight. I am working hard towards something. I can now hike for HOURS without getting tired. I can probably break cheek bones with a single punch now. I don’t shake when I get really hungry anymore (a sign of low blood sugar that most diabetics get). I have goals, I am achieving them, and I feel better about myself (slowly, but surely, I am getting happier). Making me feel like attempting to be happy with the way I am, just like how you say you are happy with the way you are, is a bad thing is not what “no body shame” should be about. Yes, you’re happy and accepting that you are the way you are. That’s fine. You are all making me feel like the hard work I put in is useless because I should just be happy with the way I am.

I am not like that. I cannot just settle for being the big girl, being out of shape, being tired all the time. You go ahead and be happy with the way you are, but don’t talk down to me because I want to be healthy. There is an unhealthy way to have a body. You wouldn’t tell a starving kid in Africa that they should just be happy with how they are, and you wouldn’t tell someone that weighed over 400 lbs that they should continue living the way they do.