Is this the hard part?

I’ve been feeling…well, less up to everything than normal. I am very adamant about watching what I eat still, but I cannot get myself to exercise. I have not been feeling good after I exercise at all like I used to.

For some reason that I cannot explain, I am in a lot of pain. The only thing I can think of what has changed was that I got a new water bottle from my roommate that I cannot drink out of well… Maybe I have been having less water? I have no idea, because it feels to me like I am still drinking enough water. After working out, my muscles hurt a lot more than they used to. I get enough sleep and I feel like I worked out entirely too much the night before, even if I didn’t. It’s been happening for the past 4 days now.

Just to be safe, I took a pregnancy test today (for those that don’t remember, I have an IUD – checking for pregnancy is vital). It came out negative, which is what I was expecting, but now I don’t know what else could be wrong. There are spots on my back that feel wrong and the only thing I can find out about the pain is possible herniated discs. I have 3 spots that give me trouble, and they have been way worse than normal. I haven’t had a day where I DIDN’T have a headache for 3 days now. My leg muscles feel weak or torn or overworked at different points in the day. It all seems so random that I don’t think I can figure out what is happening. Maybe some of my other weight loss friends can help me? I am pretty sure that the headache might be related to a toothache, but my teeth really don’t hurt all that often or coincide much with the location of the pain.

I did lose weight this week! At first, I didn’t. I gained weight. Just over 2 pounds. I was depressed about that Saturday. My waist and ribs went down on measurements, but that was it. At least I didn’t gain there again. On Saturday, before I ate, I decided it might be a good idea to weigh myself again. I had ended up losing 3.6 lbs. I am not sure what it was, but that made me feel good. Yesterday in itself was a really shitty day, but at least I lost weight, and more than I thought I had gained this past week. Well, whatever, moving on.

I really want to be under 220 when I go to California. I don’t know how feasible that will be. I have been stuck between 230 and 225 for months now, even after adjusting caloric intake and exercise. It just makes me feel very much like I’ve hit a brick wall. I am not giving up, not after everything I have done. I just don’t know what else I can do to try to shock my system or even make my body stop hurting. If any of you have suggestions, those of you that have been where I am, please let me know what you did! I might have either tried it, but if I haven’t, I just might…

Where did this week go?

I have been here for over a week now. We did SO much this past week, and I am really not sure how we fit it all in (twss).

Shit, I can hardly remember half the stuff we did, rofl!

Today, I went to the gym. This is the first time in forever, and the first time I worked out with good weights. Not to say what I was doing before wasn’t helping, but it wasn’t enough. Found out my limit for several things, but not everything. I kind of planned incorrectly and didn’t have enough time on my bus transfer to stay for very long, so we had to leave early. The hilarious thing was that we didn’t feel like a half an hour was enough for us. Well, we’ll be changing up the bus route on Wednesday; we’ll be there not only earlier, but I will be either buying a day pass or bringing enough to buy another transfer when we leave. That way, we can leave almost an hour later! Get strength and cardio in.

I have upped my calorie intake during the day to 1700, that way I can eat up to that much if I have to and feel wonderful about it. I am going to try to not go over it too much if I exercise, though. I want to keep that my base and let the exercise be the extra that I burn so that I can lose weight faster. At least, this is the plan. I believe I have built up enough muscle over the course of everything that my body needs that much anyway. Pretty sure I am burning more calories at rest.

Gym plan will be weights for toning and some strength; lower weight and higher reps to make sure that I am working those muscles, but not bulking them up. I will be doing everything I can to make sure that I can do the minimum of requirements to graduate boot camp (BEFORE I go), as well, but that isn’t a focus right now. (Side note: I should probably email that recruiter…) After I do a full body work, there will be 20 minutes of cardio with good resistance on an elliptical. I am excited about that. I have wanted an elliptical for some time, and this is just rather convenient right now. Buying one is so impractical right now as we won’t be in one place for very long, and really don’t want to fucking move it right now, lol. I am really excited about upping my level of activity with strength training.

I can currently curl 35 lbs, overhead tricep 25 lbs, ab twist 50 lbs (go torso muscles), and leg press 135 lbs. Not bad for a fatty who has done everything on her own for 7 months! That’s all we were able to do today, and I will lower those numbers so I can do more reps on Wednesday. Always good to know your cap at the time, though! I want to work on building my leg muscles with squats and cardio still, but those leg presses are good for strength.

Really, really excited to get everything going there (I said it three times, that makes is super serial, right?). Changing it all up again will jolt my body again, and building my muscles up a little will definitely help with burning fat, especially if I try to not eat over 1700 calories. I am super proud of where my life is heading, and all mostly because I just decided to start exercising. :3