Let’s start over, eh?

So, after my post yesterday, I realized that I am kind of slipping. And by kind of, I mean really slipping. It happened so gradually that I didn’t even notice it.

Few more carbs.

More alcohol.


Less exercise.

I realized that I have to stop letting myself do this again. Jump back on. I wasn’t doing BAD, but I wasn’t doing as good as I was. Here’s the plan.

I’m going to watch what I eat again. I did yesterday and came out good. Even turned down alcohol and a second helping of dinner (which I had been taking). I will be doing the chair exercises, regardless of how ridiculous I think I look (stupid anxiety and over-thinking). And I will completely rest my toe because I want it to get better faster. I have it taped up now. It still doesn’t like to be flat on the ground, so I’m going to keep it elevated for a while. I am entering recipes that are not in My Fitness Pal the way that I do them so that my calories are accurate. Doing that will make sure that I know where I actually am and am accountable for everything I eat (I only just discovered the recipe function where you enter in ingredients and it does the math for you…).

I need to lose more weight before my husband gets here in a month. And I want to lose another 30 lbs before I get back to him. I am pretty confident that I can do that. I’ve been losing an average of 7.5 lbs a month right now. I think I can lose another 30 by the end of July!

While I’m not really starting over, I am picking myself back up off the floor. Goal for the end of the month is going to be 5 lbs lost from yesterday’s weigh in. I believe that to be attainable.

Now, to put it in my calendar so I have a reminder to post about it at the end of this month. :D



…and I know how to use it!

No, really, I do.

Some of you might remember my measurements I was taking almost 2 months ago (god, have I really been this lazy…). I was using a string, that was kind of stretchy, and putting that on a regular tape measure. Not quite accurate, but I had made it work, mostly.

So, I am starting my measurements from THIS entry now, since I know that they are accurate. They are as follows:

  • Neck: 17
  • Bust: 49
  • Ribs: 40.5
  • Waist: 50.5
  • Hips: 53

I gained 3.2 lbs this week, making me JUST AT my 10% weight loss goal. That’s slightly depressing. I will have to work hard to lose weight again.

Oh, right. Broken toe (which, we’ve pretty much confirmed it is…).

This is a bump in the road, and I know I can get around it, but I can’t do the things that help me lose weight quickly. Time to find ways to exercise that doesn’t include my feet.

We did, last night. Well, my lovely husband did. YouTube videos for high energy exercises that you do in an office chair. Pretty freaking awesome if you tell me. I’m worried about a couple of them because they have you lift your knee up, but I am fairly confident I can lift my knee up without using my toes thanks to kick boxing.

I miss kick boxing so much. It’s not offered anywhere here.

So, I have up to 4 weeks of not heavily using my toes, which means 4 weeks of no hiking. Tomorrow I am taping up my toe. I injured it again last night while getting a Coke Zero, put all my weight on the foot, so I want to have one more day of it being elevated without being taped up. I’ll probably still keep it elevated while it’s taped, but we’ll see how I feel.

I am quite discouraged by this injury. All I want to do is eat all the shitty stuff that I do to make myself feel better. I feel useless. I miss everything. And now I can’t go hiking, which I love to do, because I ran into the fucking couch. I believe it sent my depression spiraling. I am hoping the exercises my husband found will help keep me active. I’ve lost a lot of tone (but not really muscle), so I feel kind of like I’ve given up on myself, even though that’s not the case.

Sorry for the kind of downer post. I’m really not happy with myself, and it’s kind of hard to pump myself up when all I feel is self-loathing. Now I need to figure out how to get out of this without gaining ALL the weight. Need to stay over my 10% weight lost blip. I don’t know if I can handle going back up right now. :\