POST NUMBAH DOS. (equis)

Actually, not really beer. The right beer is great. No, I’m having cocktails tonight. Fuck yeah.

ANYWAY. I said in my post at god awful early this morning that I lost around a pound-ish. I fucking lied. that I am down to 227.2 lbs. (Apparently I don’t remember what I posted 12 hours ago, hur.) I lost 2.2 pounds. What? How did that happen? Seriously. I have no idea.

And now I have my measurements on hand! Weeee! I really didn’t think I did my waist right, but looking at myself in the gym (yeah, I check myself out), I can REALLY see that I have lost that since I started going. Virtually no more BACK BOOB. FUCK YEAH.

Right. Measurements.

  • Neck: 15.5 (I am certain this isn’t going to change ever again…)
  • Bust: 46.5 (-0.5)
  • Ribs: 38.0 (0)
  • Waist: 42.0 (-2.25)
  • Hips: 50.0 (MOVE DOWN FASTER, DAMMIT)

So, yeah. Super happy with this. Eventually, I will lose all the fat everywhere else on my body and I will start losing my hips finally (most of my fat right now is around my lower abdomen region, right where my hips are measured). I hate that I’m “pearing” out like this, but fat loses wherever fat loses.

I love seeing myself in the mirror now. I can stand seeing myself naked now (though that lower abdomen really is annoying me), and I can seriously see the change in my chest, arms, and waist really well. And my shoulders. Yeah, I am firming up quite nicely, actually. Super in love with it.

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With that, I wanted to make a random side note: I will rock at this job. The guy I sidejacked with today wasn’t the best example at all, but I learned a lot of…uh, how to not be a condescending cocksucker on the phone! HAHA.

I’m serious, though. This guy got frustrated super easy. To be fair, this woman couldn’t distinguish the words “computer” and “console”…so, yeah.

I was going to blog about phrases being said on Twitter, but fuck you. Go read Twitter. From this person, this chick, and this random guy that totally isn’t my husband. We’re pretty awesome.

Updated blog and the reasons for my stress.

I know my blog isn’t popular. I also know that I do get more hits than I ever expected. Most of this is to keep me accountable for being a fucktard when it comes to losing weight.

That being said, I needed a place where I could complain, explain, and generally babble about my life. Twitter is good for that, but I always feel like I am spamming away at people’s feeds (with over 68,000 tweets, I have no doubt that I am). I even have a private account that I can do my more personal bitching on. It doesn’t help. The medium isn’t big enough for me. So, instead of spamming you guys on there, I changed up my blog.

When I am stressed, I will be able to write about it on here and not feel guilty about it since it’s no longer just my “weight loss blog”. Now I can come here and vent. The weight loss post for my weigh in day is here, if you ended up missing it a few minutes ago.

I have been particularly vague with some tweets this week. We had a horrible conversation with our landlord. Well, mostly horrible. We had a plan that we were trying to see if he would go along with. If you’ve followed me on Twitter for at least a month, you know that I have really bad anxiety when it comes to my landlord, and I hate talking with him. He’s skeevy. Seriously so. We explained that we can’t afford to live here anymore. We wanted him to take our deposit and use it as rent for January to February, then we would pay half a month’s rent to be able to stay until the end of February. That didn’t work out so well with him.

Instead, he said we will be able to keep our deposit, and he’ll let us stay here for free until February 5th. The problem is that we have no freaking money to move. No car, not even a place to move to yet. We have to move in just over a week. We were supposed to get money from Erin this week, but she ended up not getting paid just yet. If we did get paid by her this week, we would have been able to go out this weekend and look for a place, pay for background checks, and possibly put a bit down to hold a place. Instead, we have to wait until next week when we get money from Erin. This puts us in a bind. We will have to head out and fill things out in Beaverton in the morning before Chris works, hope we can get approved for a place, and then move in possibly one day on the weekend.

Because of all of this, I cannot look for a job. I can’t spend hours on the internet applying to places that won’t hire me. I have to pack up the entire house, pretty much by myself. It’s not too hard to do, but it’s stressful thinking about it. I’ve got a good chunk of it done, and plan on getting more done today. Since we can’t go out and look for places this weekend, I am stressing out pretty bad. I am not sure if we will have a place to live in 9 days. I don’t know if we’ll get someone who will take us in because we’re desperate. We have horrible credit; luckily, the eviction we thought was on our credit doesn’t seem to be there. Our credit means we have to pay more in deposit. That’s fine in normal circumstances. Right now, I just feel like we’re going to be homeless next week.

I posted about some really happy news that I didn’t want to jinks. I might have a job interview in a couple weeks, but I don’t know for sure when it will be. The email I got was really definitive that I will be getting contacted to set up a meeting, so I am hopeful that I at least have an interview. I am not saying where, and I am not sure I should even mention it. I have had a couple people ask me about what the news was, though, and I felt not saying anything at all was dumb.

This is all why I have been gaining. I am super stressed. All I want to do is cry. I am very scared for where we will end up. I am scared of where Erin will end up, but she at least has a boyfriend with lots of money that wants to help her out. Hopefully, our entire place will be packed and ready to go by the end of next week so we can just GO. And I am really hoping that we are able to get a place that will work with us. What I really want, though, is an extra week. I don’t think I will get that. :\

I just want to be only happy for once. Not stressed or sad. Happy and comfortable. We will get there again, but I am not sure how the journey there will be. :(

Injuries Expected

Well, they really shouldn’t be completely expected, but they should be at the same time.

Yesterday, during my cool down, I tore my left deltoid while doing elbows. It snapped and immediately there was pain. Since I knew exactly what it was when it happened (because I tore muscles in my wrist, same arm, last year), I stopped, took ibuprofen, and iced it. Spent most of the day icing and heating my upper arm. We went to the store last night, so to keep me from using my left arm, we made a make shift sling to strap it to my body. Worked out well. Didn’t do dishes like I was going to do yesterday, but Chris did. Then I just lazed around. I took a nice nap at one point. My body was exhausted. Slept 10 hours last night, and now my arm feels almost perfect.

Will obviously take it easy today, but this means that I might be back to normal by tomorrow and will be able to do most of my exercises. I will still take it easy tomorrow, though. Icing and heating it again, but I won’t need the ibuprofen today. And hopefully everything will be awesome tomorrow! I was a little worried about the injury. My best friend is coming to town on Tuesday with her infant daughter, and I wanted to be able to cuddle her a lot. Looks like I’ll be able to.

Back to the 2 days on, one day off routine. We’ve increased the amount of time that I am doing some of my workouts. I think I forgot to post about this when it happened, but I punched 161 times in one minute! The first time I did it, I did 158 punches in one minute, so I increased it by 3. :D Super impressed with myself. My goal right now is to get the same amount of punches as Master of Puppets has beats per minute (for those that don’t know, it’s 220 bpm). Lmao. We will end up having to go to video for that, Chris can’t count that fast.

Doing good, anxiety is getting better, depression is still there. However, I feel amazing. I don’t waddle as much as I used to. And my legs are looking more like a lady’s legs. It’s still a bit of a shock to see how much fat I have actually lost. I have a long way to go still, but the amount that I have lost so far is making me super hopeful that I will get there in no time. :D

Accidental Day Switch

I ended up taking yesterday off. My day off was supposed to be today, but we have a huge fridge issue (as in, we don’t freaking have one now), and we expected to get our new one shortly after the old one was taken. Just to make sure that our routine wouldn’t get interrupted, we decided to give me a weird schedule. However, now I am working out 3 days in a row. We’ll see how much I hate this decision.

On Tuesday, I was able to do knee strikes for one whole minute on each side. The first time I did them, I couldn’t do them much longer than 30 seconds. I was really hurting by the end of the minute, but it felt good. Today, I was able to do them for a whole minute without losing too much strength in the strikes. That made me super happy. We’ll probably up it another 15 second next week. Will talk to Chris about that.

I’ve also started doing jab-cross-strikes. I love that exercise so much. Keeping the majority of my body moving for a while.

I am now exercising with Chris for 45 minutes right now. We’re trying to get it up to an hour, which we might be able to do slowly by just increasing the times I am doing each exercise. :)

Also on Tuesday, I managed to get a charlie horse cramp in my freaking diaphragm. That was crazy weird. I am feeling different muscles working now, and I can do other things longer than when I first started. That makes me super happy. :)

I have a weigh in tomorrow. I am not very hopeful. I don’t feel like I’ve lost anymore weight. It will only be weight and body fat tomorrow. I will be doing measurements next Friday (the day after Thanksgiving).

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I am super excited about it. I haven’t binged in a while, so I don’t expect to. And I know what a portion looks like now. This is all working out quite well. :D

I will post again tomorrow for my weight. :) Probably not a large update with that, though.

8 months, really?

I didn’t realize I had neglected this for so long.

I’M BACK. CAN’T DISCOURAGE ME FOR THAT LONG.

Update! For those that don’t know (who the hell follows this anyway…), I moved to Portland in May. I got a job here in June. I have a weird thing going on with my hip that prevents me from sitting for so long. The job I had was sitting. Had to quit said job.

We’re doing better. We don’t eat out as often. We don’t eat a TON of junk food. We’re making healthier decisions. I’ve actually lost weight. Not much, only enough to tell I have, but I have lost weight. I’m at 268 right now, and have been steady at that for a while. I am now tracking my calories (which is a REAL eye opener, holy shit). I’m not supposed to be eating more than 1660 calories a day, which is actually easier than I thought. I mostly quit soda again. I’m drinking around 128 oz of water a day. There’s a cinder cone near us. It’s 630 ft high. We can climb from the base to the top in less than 45 minutes, and that’s including one 15 minute break. Changes are really happening.

Tomorrow, I start running. I’m going to be doing Couchto5k. My goal is to be able run a 5k next year. I am excited about this. I have support. I have seen the weight loss and I want more. I am now starting to be able to fit into my 2X shirts. I can FIT into 1X or XL female shirts, but just barely. I want to finally be able to wear my smaller shirts that I won. I want to go down in pants sizes. This will happen.

I have enough will now to start doing all these things by myself. And I think that’s what I’m most proud of. I will try to update a little more on here so that I can keep track of it.

And I want to thank those that are supportive of me. I’m tired of being the old lady with all the aches. It’s not fun. I need to be healthy. Not only to have kids, but to continue living for those kids. :)