Work makes blogging difficult

I was supposed to blog last week. I didn’t. I don’t remember why I didn’t other than I was super busy with work for some reason.

Getting used to working out while having a job has been interesting. Starting this almost 2 years ago, I had a full time job. I wasn’t as invested as I am now, though. I really got into everything when I didn’t have a job, and it was easier to do. To be fair, this isn’t that hard. What’s hard is having roommates that are overweight and not as progressed or invested as us. Especially since it’s very much a communal kitchen, I dislike having to cook “healthier” things for myself if the meal isn’t low enough calorie for me (which hasn’t happened too often). I feel like a dick or disrespectful or something. I know I’m not logically, but that doesn’t stop how I feel. What makes it hard is that I do not like feeling as if I have insulted someone. So, I’ve had to deal with that.

I have lost the weight I gained! Well, not all of it, just back at 227, but better than gaining again. I took my measurements last week and had gained a bit. That really upset me. Starting on Monday, I am going hardcore on everything. I increased my calories so that I could increase my exercise, and I haven’t increased my exercise much. So, on Monday, I will be starting 2 or 3 days of strength and 5 or 6 days of cardio a week. I will be going to the gym to do so every night after work. I need to tell myself “no excuse” again. Because I don’t have one. I will feel better doing it again, too. Also, I REALLY want to be under 220 when I go to California in a month (FOUR WEEKS) so that I can tell my step mother-in-law that I have officially lost over 60 pounds since the last time she saw me.

I’d post my measurements, but I am incredibly too lazy to go get them out of the bedroom.

Because I gained weight, I am still just under 20% lost. That annoys me.

I don’t know what else to post about other than work. I am still working out, though, admittedly, not as heavy as I should be, but that is changing. A lot of my life is work right now. I am being recognized there and that makes me happy. I am very much exceeding my own expectations of myself, and I am impressing people that I work for. Just can’t go to another department until I hit 90 days. That’s fine, though. That’s in just a month. :)

I guess that’s it. I miss talking online! I miss you all! Your support is what keeps me going, so please give me all you have! :D

POST NUMBAH DOS. (equis)

Actually, not really beer. The right beer is great. No, I’m having cocktails tonight. Fuck yeah.

ANYWAY. I said in my post at god awful early this morning that I lost around a pound-ish. I fucking lied. that I am down to 227.2 lbs. (Apparently I don’t remember what I posted 12 hours ago, hur.) I lost 2.2 pounds. What? How did that happen? Seriously. I have no idea.

And now I have my measurements on hand! Weeee! I really didn’t think I did my waist right, but looking at myself in the gym (yeah, I check myself out), I can REALLY see that I have lost that since I started going. Virtually no more BACK BOOB. FUCK YEAH.

Right. Measurements.

  • Neck: 15.5 (I am certain this isn’t going to change ever again…)
  • Bust: 46.5 (-0.5)
  • Ribs: 38.0 (0)
  • Waist: 42.0 (-2.25)
  • Hips: 50.0 (MOVE DOWN FASTER, DAMMIT)

So, yeah. Super happy with this. Eventually, I will lose all the fat everywhere else on my body and I will start losing my hips finally (most of my fat right now is around my lower abdomen region, right where my hips are measured). I hate that I’m “pearing” out like this, but fat loses wherever fat loses.

I love seeing myself in the mirror now. I can stand seeing myself naked now (though that lower abdomen really is annoying me), and I can seriously see the change in my chest, arms, and waist really well. And my shoulders. Yeah, I am firming up quite nicely, actually. Super in love with it.

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With that, I wanted to make a random side note: I will rock at this job. The guy I sidejacked with today wasn’t the best example at all, but I learned a lot of…uh, how to not be a condescending cocksucker on the phone! HAHA.

I’m serious, though. This guy got frustrated super easy. To be fair, this woman couldn’t distinguish the words “computer” and “console”…so, yeah.

I was going to blog about phrases being said on Twitter, but fuck you. Go read Twitter. From this person, this chick, and this random guy that totally isn’t my husband. We’re pretty awesome.

Woohoo! A loss!

Wasn’t much of a loss, but pretty much everything I gained last week has been lost this week. :D That makes me happy. Back down to 229.4 lbs.

I ran into another couch earlier this week. Monday night, to be exact. Resulting in…a sprained toe. The same toe that I broke. I was really scared that I broke it again, but when I woke up Tuesday and the pain had mostly subsided, I was quite thankful. However, I spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday off my feet for the most part. Yesterday I went and got my hair cut (still need to dye it, jeebus), and today I went out and decided my toe was well enough for exercising. I went without Chris, since we ended up staying up later than we wanted last night. And no, my toe didn’t like it, but it didn’t completely stop me, either. That’s a good sign for me. :)

I did well, methinks. I did a lot of the stuff that Chris and I do together, upped a lot of the weight (oh, my abs might hate me later), and even found a good pectoral fly machine that makes sure only your pecs are working. I did 30 minutes total on the elliptical, and my normal stretches. Then …I got naked in the gym.

Okay, this is probably literally the first time I’ve been naked in public since high school swim class… (Totally not counting those times….wait…my mom reads this blog. HI, MOM.) And I would just like to point out that I didn’t feel…exposed at all. It was really weird. I didn’t have any anxiety about it, I just did it. The entire month I’ve been going to the gym, I have been telling myself, “They all have the same body parts as you, they are all here to get healthy, and they are all in their own little worlds.” And it’s true. It helped so much telling myself that for so long. I still felt awkward when I had to not have panties on (it’s TOM, and I don’t wear tampons anymore since my period isn’t that heavy), but it was just slightly awkward.

I’m oddly proud of myself. I have super horrible anxiety problems. I don’t think I’m ready to be taking nude photos of myself yet, but I have some confidence now. It’s…freeing.

I looked at pictures of me from November. I told myself I wasn’t going to post those kinds of progress photos; the ones where you stand in front of stuff to see how much you have changed. But I will be. Tomorrow, in fact. I hope it really shows as much progress as I see. :D

This is my last week not working. I start up at Stream on Monday at 6 am. It’s going to be weird. Chris and I will see each other for my lunch daily and on the weekends. That’s it. We’ll be sleeping half of our sleep together, and exercising separately. For 4 weeks. At least I get to see him some. This has made me super anxious for the past few days. I do this, though. I will force myself through it and will be happier for it. Happens every time.

:3 See you all tomorrow with some “nakie” pictures of myself. :D